Tips for Afterschool Enrichment Coordinators: How to Build Strong Mentoring Relationships
Mentorship is a huge part of DREAM programming. As an AEC, it is important that you consider mentorship when planning for your site, from program structure to weekly planning. Read this article to learn more about mentorship at DREAM, how to form mentee-mentor matches, and how to support mentee-mentor matches during weekly programming.
Why Mentorship?
There are many reasons why DREAM chooses to have mentorship as a pillar of their programming. Research has shown, over and over again, that a child having a consistent mentor in their life can lead to many positive outcomes, such as: stronger social-emotional skills, heightened confidence, and a lesser chance of risky behaviors. In fact, a study done by Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child found that: “Every child who winds up doing well [in adulthood] has had at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive adult.” From this, we can see that mentorship plays a major part in youths’ development into happy, independent, and capable adults.
At DREAM, we don’t assume that our mentees don’t already have a strong relationship with a supportive adult; rather, we aim to add to their mentorship team. A child can never have too many supportive adults in their life!
Building Relationships with Mentors & Mentees
As I mentioned in my previous article, Recruiting and Retaining Mentors, building a strong relationship with each of your mentors is very important. These relationships will also help you create mentorship pairs/groups, as you can match mentors and mentees based on similar interests, personalities, and lived experiences. It will also likely be easier to discuss matching with mentors if you have previously built a strong rapport with them. Mentors will feel more comfortable expressing their opinion on matching decisions if they know that you will listen and respond respectfully; otherwise, mentors may be nervous to veto your matching decisions or tell you which mentee(s) they would like to be matched with.
It is also important to build a rapport with each of the mentees in your program, as well as their families. As a point person at DREAM, mentees need to feel comfortable coming to you with challenges, questions, and complaints. So, they not only need to know who you are but they also need to know that you care about them and will listen if they come to you. Additionally, building a rapport with DREAM families shows that you care about your mentees outside of DREAM as well. And, it makes families feel more comfortable sending their child to DREAM, as they know that they are in good hands.
Further, knowing about each mentee's family system, including current challenges or conflicts, can help inform you on their behavior at DREAM. For example, you may be able to identify a trigger that caused a mentee’s behavioral challenge, which would allow you to address the behavior more appropriately. And, if you have a strong rapport with families, it’s easier to open conversations about behavioral challenges and programming supports, such as asking what deescalation techniques work best for the mentee or what areas the mentee needs extra support in.
All of the information you gain from building relationships with your site’s mentors, mentees, and families will be a great asset when it comes time to build mentor-mentee matches.
Mentor-Mentee Matching
Great mentorship starts with intentional matching. Each site does mentor-mentee matching a little differently, depending on the amount of mentors and mentees in your program. Ideally, each mentor is matched with one mentee, allowing the mentor to spend the majority of programming time with their mentee. This one-on-one time allows for the mentee to build a strong, trusting relationship with their mentor quickly. However, at DREAM sites that don’t have a 1:1 ratio, it is still possible to build these relationships, it may just look a little different. Some DREAM sites pair each mentor with a small group of mentees, all of whom act as the mentor’s mentees. Other sites make small groups of both mentors and mentees; for example, a group might have four mentors and twelve mentees. Here are some tips for making the most of mentorship with matching:
Establish a matching system: If a matching system isn’t established at your DREAM site yet, then you, as an AEC, can have a hand in creating one! There’s a few ways to go about this. If you have already established relationships with all of the mentees and mentors in your program, then you may be able to effectively match mentors and mentees prior to the start of programming. This way, the mentor-mentee pairs, or groups, will work together for the entire programming term (and hopefully beyond!)
Create opportunities for mentors and mentees to get to know each other: If you don’t know all of your mentors and mentees well yet, you can have a few programming days before you begin matching. If you are going down this route, I recommend formatting those first few programming days as rotating activity stations. That way, you can assign mentors to a station and have the mentees rotate, thus seeing how each mentor and mentee interact to figure out who clicks.
Ask for mentor input: It is extremely important to ask for mentor input when matching. When I was an AEC, I never finalized a mentor-mentee pair or group without getting the mentor’s approval, and I suggest you do the same. And, if you want to match mentors and mentees before the start of programming, ask your mentors if they have any preferences on what mentee(s) they are matched with; most times, mentors already have a strong relationship with a mentee or two.
Try group matching: If you are having trouble with matching mentees and mentors, you can also approach it more simply by making pairs/groups based on shared interests. For example, if you have a mentor who is studying art and a few mentees who are really into arts & crafts, they might form a good small group. And, while we want mentorship pairs/groups to be as stable as possible, don’t worry about making them perfect. Pairs/groups can always be adjusted down the line, if needed.
Maintaining your Mentor-Mentee Match
Since AECs tend to be volunteer mentors first, you may have a 1:1 mentor-mentee match before becoming an AEC. It can be difficult to manage a mentor-mentee match alongside the additional responsibilities that come with being an AEC, but how you manage it is up to you and the needs of your site. Here are some ways I have seen AECs manage their previous mentor-mentee relationships:
Carve out specific programming time to spend with your mentee: This might be opening and closing activities or one rotating station. Oftentimes, the Director or Youth Service Manager will step in as the point person during this time, or another AEC if you have multiple at your site.
Pass down your mentee: Passing down mentees is something that happens at DREAM often, due to mentors moving on once they graduate college. If this is something your site does, it might be appropriate to pass down your mentee to another mentor who they feel connected to. I would recommend passing your mentee down to a mentor who is an underclassman, if you can, as it is best to limit the amount of shifting around in mentor-mentee matches.
Form a mentor-mentee group with another mentor: If your site does 1:1 matching, you and your mentee could make a small group with another mentor and their mentee. This way, the four of you could participate in programming activities together; but, if you get pulled away, the other mentor can stay with both mentees. For sites that do small groups, matches tend to shift more, generally, so it is best to discuss this transition with your Director or Youth Service Manager to decide what would be best for your mentee.
Building a strong mentoring relationship starts with a strong mentee-mentor match. When forming mentor-mentee matches, many new AECs feel overwhelmed or intimidated, as there’s a lot of pressure to choose strong pairs from the beginning. That said, know that it is okay for matches to shift a bit—it’s a natural part of programming. Alongside this, using the strategies from this article, you will be well-equipped to form and manage strong mentor-mentee matches, whether you have inherited them or you are starting from scratch. When in doubt, I recommend asking your mentors for input—their insight is your most valuable resource! You can also ask your Director or Youth Service Manager for advice in forming mentor-mentee matches or groups.
If you are interested in learning more about the AEC role, I suggest checking out my previous article, What is an AEC and How Do I Apply?, as it outlines the role of an AEC, how it differs from site to site, and how you can apply. If you’re unsure about who to contact within your region, you can find your region’s point person on our contact page.
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